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Movie Reviews
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Movie	Year	In short	Fingers
13 Ghosts	2001	Lifeless, soulless crapfest.	1
15 Minutes	2001	Same old preachy Hollywood bullshit.	2
21	2008	Now they have to make Vegas suck for us too?	2
The 25th Hour	2003	Spike Lee uses his talents for good, not evil	4
28 Weeks Later	2007	Ultimately, just another zombie flick.	3
200 Cigarettes	1999	Dreadful ensemble comedy.	2
3:10 to Yuma	2007	Better than the other 2007 westerns.	4
(500) Days of Summer	2009	Phony fucking baloney.	1
54	1998	Godawful, boring story of Studio 54	1
Adaptation	2002	One great high-wire act, until the guy falls	4
Adventureland	2009	A fine, fine college comedy.	4
Aeon Flux	2005	Fux fux sux fux sux sux sux	1
Affliction	1998	Really sad, Nick Nolte is good and restrained	4
A.I.	2001	A messy, contrived attempt at thoughtfulness	2
All or Nothing	2002	It's not the sadness that makes sad people interesting	2
Almost Famous	2000	Meandering and self-indulgent classic-rock story	2
Alone in the Dark	2005	A new low in "storytelling"?	1
American Beauty	1999	Fine story of suburban angst	4
American Movie	1999	Very funny story of inept moviemaker	3
American Pie	1999	Funny, sloppy teen comedy with tits.	3
American Psycho	2000	Pointless satire(?) of 80's greed	2
The Amityville Horror	2005	No good ideas? How about a remake?	2
Anchorman	2004	Ha ha, people dressed funny in the 70s.	2
Angels and Demons	2009	As if Catholic rituals weren't silly enough already..	1
Anger Management	2003	More mature fart jokes from Sandler	1
The Animal	2001	One joke(?), eighty minutes	1
The Aristocrats	2005	Filthy fucking comedy. Dirty, dirty, dirty.	3
Art of War	2000	Pretentious, pointless, confusing thriller	1
Attack of the Clones	2002	A middling Star Wars story, and that's an improvement	3
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me	1999	Amusing but overly childish	3
Avatar	2009	Fancy-ass pictures and lame-ass story.	2
The Avengers	1998	A muddled disaster. Tiresome action	2
Babe: Pig in the City	1998	Absolutely wonderful. I should've given it five fingers	4
Bad News Bears	2005	What baseball means to assholes	2
The Bad News Bears	1976	What baseball means to kids	4
The Ballad of Jack and Rose	2005	Who let them make a movie out of an undergraduate liberal arts college short story?	1
The Bank Job	2008	Decent heist flick ruined by being a movie	3
Barnyard	2006	Hate your kids? Show them this.	1
Batman Begins	2005	Just another comic book movie, except not for kids and not for adults.	2
The Beach	2000	Bad story veers into ludicrousness	2
Because I Said So	2007	Made me shit my pants	1
Be Cool	2005	So uncool it hurts my nuts	2
Beetle Queen Conquers Tokyo	2010	If it walks like a student film, talks like a student film...	2
Be Kind Rewind	2008	It has its moments	3
Before Sunset	2004	Sweet, but, I don't know, bittersweet.	4
Behind Enemy Lines	2001	Make believe hogwash to encourage patriotism	2
Being John Malkovich	1999	Wildly overrated one-joke (a good one) movie	3
Best in Show	2000	The funniest movie of 2000	4
Best Worst Movie	2010	Just see the movie it talks about.	2
The Big Bounce	2004	Lazy postcard from Hawaii	2
Big Fish	2004	Phoney Baloney	2
Big Momma's House	2000	Jesus, this one sucks	2
The Black Dahlia	2006	Melodrama vs Noir and Melo wins by a knockout!	1
Black Knight	2001	But this one sucks worse	1
Blackhawk Down	2002	War Porn	2
Blade	1999	Better than expected, accidentally starring Stephen Dorff.	3
Blade II	2002	A dreadfully dull rerun	1
Blair Witch Project	1999	Effectively creepy, really cheap	4
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows	2000	A huge turd, totally worthless.	1
Blood Diamond	2006	More smug, simplistic speechifying by Hollywood	1
Bloodrayne	2006	Uwe Boll craps his pants.	1
Bolt	2008	Animated Disney crap that don't stink much..	3
Book of Eli	2010	Jesus says kill, kill, kill..	2
Bounce	2000	Stupid Affleck/ Paltrow drama. Their fans get what they deserve.	2
The Bourne Identity	2002	A well-made genre actioner	3
The Bourne Supremacy	2004	Better than the first, better than most	4
The Bourne Ultimatum	2007	Man, it zips like a good fly	4
Bowfinger	1999	A funny story of moviemaking	3
The Break-up	2006	Kill unfunny yuppies	1
Brick	2006	Film school artsy bullshit	1
Brokeback Mountain	2006	Gay cowboys roping calves.	3
Broken Flowers	2005	A not-quite-cooked bittersweet story	3
Bruno	2009	Watch Borat instead.	2
Burn After Reading	2008	Do you like being insulted?	1
Butterfly Effect	2004	Perfect for 4-year old amateur psychologists	1
Capote	2006	Cold-blooded author writes about killers	4
Cars	2006	Kids homage to Route 66?	3
Casino Royale	2007	The rebirth of the same Bond.	3
Cast Away	2000	Half ad, half movie, half decent	3
Catch Me If You Can	2002	A decent chaser with Spielberg sap	3
Cats and Dogs 2	2010	A terrible thing to make children see	1
Cedar Rapids	2011	Indie film disguised as raunchy comedy	3
Celebrity	1998	Woody Allen's treading water	2
Center Stage	2000	Lame teen ballet movie	1
Changing Lanes	2002	Ben Affleck takes a dump	2
Charlie's Angels	2000	Mindless, but not quite mindless enough	3
Charlotte's Web	2006	Faithful and solid, like a good pig	4
Children of Men	2007	Dystopic and dyspeptic and lovely	4
Christmas with the Kranks	2004	Rips out Santa's heart and shits on it.	1
The Chronicles of Narnia	2005	Rips out children's hearts and glowers at them.	2
Cinderella Man	2005	formulaic boxingmovie that works.	3
City of Ember	2008	Sort of inert and dull for the end of the world.	2
City of God	2003	What happens when everything goes right with an experiment	5
A Civil Action	1998	Another John Travolta as serious actor pile	2
Clay Pigeons	1998	Decent country noir	3
Clerks 2	2006	Blibbidy blabbidy blah poop blah	1
Closer	2004	A fucking fraud	1
Club Dread	2004	A turd so lazy it missed the bowl	2
Cold Souls	2009	Fancy high-brow thinking in search of a story.	2
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind	2003	Uninvolving fantastical bullshit	2
The Constant Gardener	2005	Top-grade thriller. Smart shit.	4
Cop Out	2010	Lazy, retarded and lame.	1
The Corpse Bride	2005	Bad claymation with lots of singing.	2
The Count of Monte Cristo	2002	A lifeless mash of a great story	2
Couples Retreat	2009	Whiny married people rediscover love when we want them to discover a shotgun.	1
Coyote Ugly	2000	Laughably awful movie that should have nudity but doesn't	1
Crank: High Voltage	2009	A celebration of absolute, arrogant stupidity	1
Crash	2005	Hollywood would stop making crap if we loved each other	2
Crazy Heart	2010	Small can be a good thing.	4
Criminal	2004	Complete and total nonsense.	2
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon	2000	Holy fuck is this movie great	5
Cruel Intentions	1999	Dull and retarded telling of Dangerous Liaisons	2
Curse of the Jade Scorpion	2001	A plodding Woody Allen caper	3
Cyrus	2010	Oedpius wants to fuck you rmom.	3
Dan, in Real Life	2007	Crappity, crap, crap with a feminine laxative.	2
The Darjeeling Limited	2007	Look, ma, I'm JD Salinger!	2
Dave Chapelle's Block Party	2006	A long night	3
Dawn of the Dead	2004	Zombies run amok for your pleasure	4
The Day After Tomorrow	2004	Bad fucking Porn, about weather	1
The Day the Earth Stood Still	2008	Boring, preachy, stupid. Sucktastic.	1
Deep Blue Sea	1999	Dumb, dumb, dumb shark movie	1
The Departed	2006	Sylvester Stallone can blow it out his ass!	3
The Descent	2006	Chicks stuck in a spooky cave, in a good way	3
Deuce Bigalow: Retarded Fucking Gigolo	1999	Sets a new low for bad acting and directing	1
The Devil and Daniel Johnston	2006	Hard to love the crazy guy.	3
Diary of a Wimpy Kid	2010	Adolescence for pre-adolescents.	2
Die Another Day	2002	This is what suave is?	2
Dinner for Schmucks	2010	Hollywood preaches while it sins.	1
Divine Secrets of the Blah Blah Blah Blah	2002	More phony meoldrama about cackling women	1
Dogma	1999	Pretentious, misguided, poorly directed	2
Down to Earth	2001	Chris rock's failed attempt to become a romantic lead.	1
Down to You	2000	Goes below the lows set by Deuce Bigalow. Really lame, labored romantic comedy	1
Drag Me to Hell	2009	Puts the fun back in Hor(fun)ror.	4
Dreamcatcher	2003	What the Fuck?	1
The Dreamers	2004	This is some seriously stinky horseshit.	1
Driven	2001	Men loving men, and racing	2
Drumline	2002	Drumming should be inthe Olympics	2
Duets	2000	Exactly what Karaoke fans deserve	2
Dumb and Dumberer	2003	Painful and Painfuler	1
EDtv	1999	Moderately amusing, pretty sappy.	3
An Education	2010	Better to be schooled than get schooled.	4
Election	1999	Funny and nasty comedy about high school elections	4
Eight Legged Freaks	2002	Big spiders mean medium-sized fun	3
8 Mile	2002	Hip Hop crapera	2
Enemy at the Gates	2001	Could have been a good war story if it wasn't so fucking boring.	2
Envy	2004	A mammoth, foul turd.	1
Erin Brockovich	2000	Surprisingly good drama starring my future wife	4
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind	2004	Something to think about, and not while you're jerking off.	4
The Ex	2007	Like crapping in your eyeballs	1
Exit Through the Gift Shop	2010	Either art or not, hard to say.	4
The Exorcist	2000	Rerelease of classic that will make you shit your pants	4
Extract	2009	A willfully unfunny comedy.	2
Extraordinary Measures	2010	Made-for-Tv movie at theater prices.	2
Eye of the Beholder	1999	Laughably bad, inconsistent and ridiculous	1
Eyes Wide Shut	1999	Well-directed dumb story	3
Factory Girl	2007	WProbably brought down prices on Warhol's paintings	1
The Faculty	1998	Weak horror. the scariest thing is when that fat fuck Harry Knowles shows up	2
Fahrenheit 9/11	2004	Soothes the liberal's soul, but not much else.	2
The Fast and the Furious	2001	Good racing, dumb everything else.	2
The Fast and the Furious 3	2006	Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.	1
Fellowship of the Ring (Lord of the Rings)	2001	A fan boy's wet dream.	3
Finding Neverland	2005	Keep looking. It ain't here.	2
Final Destination 2	2003	Gory shit, like a bloody stool	1
Fired Up	2009	Toothless, titless bad comedy	1
Forces of Nature	1999	A big fuck you from Hollywood	1
Friday Night Lights	2004	A movie about the evil of high school sports, with lots of sports	3
Forgetting Sarah Marshall	2008	Love hurts, obsession hurts more	3
The Forty Year Old Virgin	2005	Man loses virginity, after a while	4
Four Christmases	2008	Someone took a dump under the tree, again.	1
From Hell	2001	Horror misguided as London travelogue	2
From The Incredible Hulk to Kelly	2003	The singingest, dancingest monster movie ever!	2
Full Frontal	2002	Hollywood celerities should get shrinks because we sure as hell can't help them	1
Funny People	2009	Oh, man, I feel so sorry for the rich comedians	2
G-Force	2009	Just fucking dreadful. Don't make your kids watch it,	1
Galaxy Quest	1999	Funny Star Trek movie. Better to see at home where you don't have Trekkies sitting near you.	3
Get Low	2010	Get bored.	2
Get Smart	2008	Get bent.	1
Ghost Town	2008	Romantic comedy that doesn't totally suck.	3
Ghost World	2001	A funny, sad and nearly perfect tale of alienation and disenfranchisement.	4
Gigli	2003	Mind-bendingly, and nut-shootingly awful.	1
Gladiator	2000	Maybe the most expensive gay gladiator movie ever	3
Glitter	2001	The movie all Mariah Carey Fans truly deserve	5
Go	1999	A fantastic, furious story	4
Godzilla 2000	2000	The best Godzilla movie ever	5
Gone in Sixty Seconds	2000	a fucking waste of time, only one good chase scene	2
Goodbye, Lover	1999	Totally inept attempt at noir. Patricia Arquette stinks up the screen.	1
The Good Girl	2002	A boring movie about boring people.	2
Greenberg	2010	Whining, pouting, moping and bitching. Waaa waaa waaa.	2
The Green Hornet	2011	Wishes it were different, but doesn't have the balls or brains.	2
Green Zone	2010	Lame politics, lame movie.	2
Hamlet 2	2008	A boring movie about boring people.	2
Hancock	2008	Too fat, sloppy and pathetic to be funny	2
The Hangover	2009	Looks like a good time.	4
Hannibal	2001	A woefully disappointing sequel, dumbed down but trying to look smart.	2
Happiness	1999	Too much shock for shock's value	3
Happy, Texas	1999	One joke that goes on too long	3
Hardball	2001	Baseball for shut-in viewers of the Lifetime Channel	1
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle	2001	Stoners amusing only stoners.	1
Harold and Kumar 2	2003	Dude, I was sooo wasted.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1	2010	A tiresome slog with no end.	2
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone	2001	A slavish adaptation of a book with potential	3
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban	2004	Don't let the kids see it	4
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix	2007	Great book. Enough said.	3
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince	2009	Then, like magic, they're in love.	4
Hart's War	2002	A solid stalag drama until the last 20 minutes.	2
Head Over Heels	2001	Another shitty performance in another shitty movie for Freddie Prinze, Jr.	1
The Heartbreak Kid	2007	Break your legs instead. You'll laugh more.	1
Heartbreakers	2001	Jesus Christ, just gouge out my eyes already. A dreadful "black comedy" with Love Hewitt posing as a grifter.	2
Hellboy	2004	Masturbatory Fanboy horseshit that excludes regular people	2
Hereafter	2010	Boring, thoughtless afterlife nonsense.	2
Hi-Lo Country	1999	Bad country from a Limey. Warning: stars Woody Harrelson	2
High Fidelity	2000	Good comedy about record store owner	3
A History of Violence	2005	Yep, it's violent all right.	3
The Hitcher	2007	Bad photocopy of a pile of shit	1
The Hoax	2007	Con men con suckers	4
Hot Fuzz	2007	An awesome cop action flick	3
The Hours	2003	Sour women making sour faces.	2
The House on Haunted Hill	1999	Terrible plot and dialogue, good scares	3
The House of D	2005	Fucking dreadful retard dramedy	1
How the Grinch Stole Christmas	2000	Fucking hateful pice of shit	1
How to Eat Fried Worms	2006	It's right there in the title.	4
How to Train Your Dragon	2010	Seriously, I didn't learn anything about training.	3
Hustle and Flow	2005	Pretty Memphis travelogue	3
I Am Legend	2007	Worst zombie movie ever.	1
I Heart Huckabees	2004	Bad fucking, pretentious, incomprehensible movie	1
Ice Age	2002	Great effects, stupid story	2
Ice Age 2	2006	Okay effects, hack story	2
Ice Princess	2005	The fantasy of every home-schooled teen girl come true	2
Igby Goes Down	2002	Passable Salinger ripoff	3
II Love You, Man	2009	Funny despite itself.	3
The In-laws	2001	As funny as hysterical children (which is who probably made it)	1
The Incredibles	2004	It's fucking art, man. Fun art, not the bad kind.	5
The Informant!	2009	Wacky, wacky, wacky music and spies!.	2
In Good Company	2005	Go ahead, call me a softie.	4
Inside Deep Throat	2005	Glitzy, empty documentary about porn	2
Insomnia	2002	A fantastic sleepy-time noir	4
Instinct	1999	Dumb monkeys posing as provocative drama	1
Iron Man	2008	Intelligent, for a turd.	2
Iron Man 2	2010	Very loud, considering there's nothing there..	2
In the Land of Women	2007	Turdity-turd turd	1
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull	2008	Older, slower, weirder	3
I Spy	2002	I spy a turd!	1
The Italian Job	2003	Soulless, bland and action-packed!	2
It's Kind of a Funny Story	2010	Not the way they tell it, it isn't.	2
Jackass 2	2006	Stupid stunts that say so much.	3
Jeepers Creepers	2001	Powerful bad horror movie(?)	1
Jersey Girl	2004	Robots with vaginas.	1
Joy Ride	2001	Better than average psycho-after-teens-in-old-car movie	3
John Carpenter's Vampires	1998	Even cheesier than intended	2
Josie and the Pussycats	2001	A tedious, unfunny insult to girl power	1
Journey to the Center of the Earth	2008	Avoid, especially if you don't get 3-D glasses at the door	2
Juno	2008	Man, I thought I disliked teenage girls, bt compared to this...	2
Jurassic Park 3	2001	the best in the series, which ain't saying a lot	3
Kill Bill, Volume 2	2004	Smug shit for people who say they love movies, but mostly love saying they do.	2
King Kong	2005	Too God damn much.	3
The King of Kong	2007	A funny as hell documentary about stuff that matters.	5
The King of California	2007	Dullest treasure hunt ever.	2
Kinsey	2004	Boring movie sort of about sex but mostly about Oscar	2
Kissing Jessica Stein	2002	Sexual identity as an NBC sitcom.	2
The Kid Stays in the Picture	2002	A brilliant documentary about the assholes who make movies	4
A Knight's Tale	2001	If you're dumb and a teenaged girl, you'll love it.	2
Knocked Up	2007	Wathicng babies get born was never so funny (but it's been hotter)	4
Kung Fu Hustle	2005	If you don't mind sitting by nouthbreathers, it may be worth seeing	3
Land of the Dead	2005	Pretty enjoyable flesh-eater	3
The Last House on the Left	2009	Snuff without the snuff.	2
The Legend of Bagger Vance	2000	Long-ass movie about angels and golf	2
The Life Aquatic	2005	Pretty, clever, wasted potential	3
Little Miss Sunshine	2006	Road comedy taken over by the NPR crowd.	2
Little Nicky	2000	Yet another turd in Adam Sandler's oeuvre	1
Lord of War	2005	Self-righteous horseshit.	1
The Losers	2010	Frat boy wet dreams splatter the screen.	1
The Low Down	2001	Bored Limeys have the decency not to complain	3
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels	1998	A good Tarantino rip off	3
MacGruber	2010	SNL takes another dump on us.	2
Madagascar	2005	Shit flinging lemurs	2
Magnolia	2000	An amazing ensemble drama about chance	5
The Man	2005	Jesus Fucking Christ.	1
Maid in Manhattan	2002	As crappy as the crappy title	1
The Majestic	2001	Watch Jim Carrey barf up horseshit speeches	1
Mamma Mia	2008	Less killing, more singing!	2
Man on the Moon	1999	Figure it out, Carrey, you're not a good actor	3
The Man Who Wasn't There	2001	As good a replica of noir as you'll find	4
The Matador	2006	No blood, some tears, fair comedy	3
Match Point	2006	Solid, boring infidelity drama.	2
The Matrix	1999	Enough to make an action-figure collector weep with joy	*
Meet Joe Black	1998	Really long and boring, but okay	3
Meet The Parents	2000	Funny, but ignores women	3
Meet The Robinsons	2007	3-D never looked so irrelevant (except for in real life)	2
Meet The Spartans	2008	Like vomiting up shit	1
Memento	2001	Interesting, different, but also a little shallow	3
Men in Black II	2002	A rote sequel, just good enough to cash in.	2
Message in a Bottle	1999	Lame weepy for the Lifetime Channel lover	2
Mickey Blue Eyes	1999	Completely formulaic bullshit	1
Midsummer Night's Dream	1999	Hatchet job on Shakepseare	2
A Mighty Wind	2003	Funny because it's almost true	4
Million Dollar Baby	2005	Chicks fight, but it ain't hot	3
The Minority Report	2002	This is what passes for dark in Spielberg's world?	2
Mission: Impossible 2	2000	Fucking awful, Tom Cruise sucks pits	2
Mission to Mars	2000	One of 2000's worst, featuring weeping aliens	1
Monkeybone	2001	A lame, confusing animation/live-action mix.	2
Monsters vs. Aliens	2009	Sci-fi monsters revived, barely.	2
Morvern Callar	2003	Boring ass kids mope around all day.	2
Moulin Rouge	2001	Over the top, and then still keeps going	2
Mr. 3000	2004	If you thought baseball was boring...	1
Mulholland Drive	2001	Like a good bad dream that stays with you	5
The Mummy Returns	2001	Lots of special effects, and that's all.	2
Mumford	1999	Misguided new-agey nonsense	2
Murder By Numbers	2002	A bad 90s Psychological Thriller for the new millennium	1
The Muse	1999	Albert Brooks fucks up. It's just not funny	2
My Bloody Valentine	2009	Terrible if not in 3D. Bad if in.	2
Mystery Men	1999	A great idea completely wasted	2
The Negotiator	1998	The same story told over and over	2
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist	2008	Cute people do cute things, but don't die.	2
A Nightmare on Elm Street	2010	Ugly people do ugly things, and die.	1
Nim's Island	2008	No movie for children, or adults, or animals	2
No Country for Old Men	2007	No movie for children	4
Notting Hill	1999	Funny, cute, terrible ending	3
Nurse Betty	2000	Weird subversion of Hollywood standards	4
The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps	2000	Bad, crude, tired and overly loud	2
O Brother, Where Art Thou	2001	If you love PBS, you might like it	2
Obsessed	2009	Mechanical like a pencil, but not as interesting	1
Ocean's 11	2001	Good, but not cool	3
Ocean's 12	2004	Pray there's no 13	2
Ocean's 13	2007	Pray there's no 14	2
Office Space	1999	Very funny, weird paced office comedy	3
Old School	2003	Immaturity ain't so bad	3
Open Water	2004	Sharks aren't as scary as yuppies.	2
Orange County	2002	So lazy they didn't even bother to visit the county they write about	2
The Orphanage	2008	Boogedy boogedy boogedy	3
The Other Guys	2010	Too much stuff, too little funny.	2
Outside Providence	1999	Not funny but very sappy	2
Over the Hedge	2006	Hypocritical kids' movie	2
Panic Room	2002	Dreary, overblown Hitchock ripoff	2
Pan's Labyrinth	2007	The bloodiest child fantasy ever	4
The Passion of the Christ	2004	Jesus must be pissed	2
Pay it Forward	2000	Hollywood pandering at its second worst	1
Pearl Harbor	2001	Rah-rah, America makes great wars and shitty movies	1
Pecker	1998	Funny and actually touching Jon Waters	4
The Perfect Storm	2000	Big waves, hammy acting	2
Permanent Midnight	1998	Lame, self-indulgent drug tale	2
Persepolis	2008	People can be boring even in hard times	2
Peter Pan	2004	Bipolar rendition both genuine and fake	3
Phone Booth	2003	Really long at 80 minutes.	2
Pineapple Express	2008	Really long at 100 minutes.	2
Pirates of the Caribbean 2	2006	Cut the grease and 60 minutes.	2
Pirates of the Caribbean 3	2007	More of the same bloated shit.	2
Planet of the Apes	2001	I'd rather be on Planet of the ape shit	1
Planet 51	2010	IA big "Fuck you, may I have your money?"	2
Pooh's Heffalump Movie	2005	Something for the little Filthy in your life.	3
Poseidon	2006	Unpleasant, loud remake of an unpleasant, long movie	1
The Prestige	2006	You like magic? Seek help.	2
Princess Diaries 2	2004	Horrificaly violent and pointless sequel to original	1
Proof of Life	2000	Half-good thriller, half-bad love story. Meg Ryan is in the bad half	3
Psycho	1998	Totally pointless remake of a great story	3
Punch Drunk Love	2002	A nearly successful romantic experiment.	3
Pushing Tin	1999	Bullshit for the sensitive male. John Cusack at his smug worst.	2
Queen of the Damned	2002	A fucking awful pile of shit about hipster vampires	1
The Quiet American	2003	Beautiful and sad thriller	4
Quills	2000	Watered down and overacted Marquis	2
R V	2006	Lifeless load of retread crap	1
Rachel Getting Married	2008	Oh, those poor old rich people are so sad. Boo hoo.	2
Raising Victor Vargas	2003	Genuinely sweet. I swear to God.	4
Ratatouille	2007	Rat cooks, audience yawns.	2
RED	2010	Ancient old people shoot guns a lot.	2
Red Dragon	2002	At least Hannibal's good	3
Reign Over Me	2007	As long as they make movies about 9/11, they might as well be as shitty as the others.	2
Reindeer Games	2000	Bad, very bad caper movie with Ben Affleck sucking ass	2
The Replacements	2000	A shitty football comedy for people who don't watch football	1
Return to Me	2000	Overly sentimental pap	1
Revenge of the Sith	2005	Darth Vader is a bad, bad man	3
Riding the Bus with my Sister	2005	Made for TV Rosie O'Donnell retard movie	2
The Ring	2002	If this is what passes for scary, kid's today are pussies.	2
The Road	2002	Not as fun a road trip movie as I expected.	2
Road to Perdition	2009	It works as a furniture catalog, with the actors as furniture	3
Rock Star	2001	Hair Metal Shakespearean Tragedy. What could be worse?	1
Rocket Science	2007	Fucking garbage for the pretentious set.	1
Romeo Must Die	2000	Martial arts meets hip-hop and nobody survives	2
The Royal Tenenbaums	2001	As tasty a mess as Mrs. Filthy's cornflake casseroles	3
Rules of Attraction	2002	It fucking blows	1
Run, Lola, Run	1999	A great, fast moving story with bad music	4
Rush Hour 2	2001	Offensive, stale, humorless tripe.	1
Rushmore	2000	The greatest story ever told, or close to it	5
Sahara	2005	Holy shit is this thing loud.	2
Saw	2004	The bloodiest turd I've seen since a week at cancer summer camp	1
Scary Movie	2000	One thousand dirty jokes, ten work	2
Scary Movie 2	2001	A brutal crime against humanity	1
The Science of Sleep	2006	It's all so fucking pretty.	5
The Score	2001	Marlon Brando is fat.	2
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World	2010	A comic book movie that looks like a comic book.	3
Seabiscuit	2003
Secret Window	2004	Secret Window, not so secret crappiness.	2
Secretary	2002	A very good love story that also happens to be about bondage	4
Semi-Pro	2008	Will Ferrell's gotta give up this schtick, please	1
Serendipity	2001	Yuppies in love, or their interpretation of it	2
A Serious Man	2009	A shallow, bitter examination of something profound.	2
Sex and the City 2	2010	It was great to see these women brutally killed.	4
Sex Drive	2008	Lame, mushy and not nearly enough nudity	2
Shadow of the Vampire	2001	More entertaining than creepy, but enjoyable.	3
Shaft	2000	A decent Shaft movie, but no nudity and no sex. Fuck that shit.	3
The Shaggy Dog	2006	Shitty remake bound to dredge up bad memories	1
Shallow Hal	2001	Fat girls are okay too, says Hollywood, but we won't hire them.	2
The Shape of Things	2003	Boring, pretentious, annoying. And awful too.	1
Shaun of the Dead	2004	Zombies can be funny, and sexy too.	3
Sideways	2004	Losers, but mostly lovable.	4
A Simple Plan	1998	A great, simply told thriller about four men and $4 million.	4
The Simpsons Movie	2007	God damn I love the Simpsons	4
Simone	2002	A muddled, fraudulent "comedy" about Hollywood	2
Slacker	1991	A beautiful film about going nowhere.	5
Slackers	2002	The horrible result of an 8-year old with a dirty mind.	1
SLC Punk!	1999	A total injustice to punks, made by people who don't get it	2
Sleepy Hollow	1999	A good, creepy gothic story	3
Slumdog Millionaire	2008	Indian kid wins a million, gets hot chick.	3
The Slums of Beverly Hills	1999	Occasionally labored, often funny coming of age	3
Small Time Crooks	2000	Woody Allen fails to recapture old glory	2
Smoke Signals	1998	A small, sweet movie that's about real Indians, not make believe "spirits"	4
Snatch	2001	Overhyped movie about stupid men	2
The Social Network	2010	Something about a web site that gets you laid.	3
Solaris	2002	Sleep-inducing, but pretty to look at	3
Son of Rambow	2008	Phony indie crap	2
Spanglish	2004	Self-serving Hollywood horseshit	1
Speed Racer	2008	True to the TV series' crappiness	2
Spiderman	2002	Decent but just like every other superhero movie	3
The Spiderwick Chronicles	2008	Too much like every other kids' fantasy	2
Star Treks: The Movie: 2	2009	Super-duper-duper awesome Star Treks	*
Star Wars: The Clone Wars	2008	Cash grab, crap ass.	2
Starsky and Hutch	2004	Just another crappy cheap shot at the 70s	2
State and Main	2000	Unfunny and sloppy "satire"	2
Stay	2005	Psycho-thriller--suuuuuuucks	1
Step Brothers	2008	Growing up su-ucks.	3
The Stepfather	2009	Barely even qualifies as a movie.	1
Stir of Echoes	1999	A decent horror flick.. Even Kevin Bacon isn't bad	3
Storytelling	2002	Self-indulgence blocks a good idea	2
The Straight Story	1999	Richard Farnsworth, David Lynch and a great story of personal triumph	4
Stuart Little	1999	Leaden chidren's comedy that assumes kids are retarded	2
Summer of Sam	1999	A complete mess	2
Superbad	2007	If only there were boobs	3
Supersize Me	2004	More artsy choir preaching	2
Superstar	1999	Another awful SNL skit	1
Surrogates	2009	Oooo, robots, oooo.	1
Sweet and Lowdown	1999	Woody Allen succeeds in recapturing old glory	4
Swimfan	2002	A contrived and unoriginal teen "thriller" as welcome as drowning.	1
Swimming Pool	2003	A flick that's honest-to-god sexy. I love boobs.	3
Tadpole	2002	The kind of show-offy shit that gives arthouses a bad name	2
The Tailor of Panama	2001	Middle-aged spies and liars story in Panama	3
Taken	2009	Mindless and retarded action for the truly dim-witted	1
Taking Woodstock	2009	Dirty, sweaty hippies love.	2
The Talented Mr. Ripley	1999	Overly arty, long psycho-drama	2
Tarzan	1999	More of the same Disney shit with the added insult of Rosie O'Donnell	2
Team America	2004	Butt, wiener, repeat.	2
The Terminal	2004	Horseshit sprinkled with saccharine.	1
Terminator 3	2003	A fine fucking action movie	4
Terminator Salvation	2009	Lifeless, humorless techno snore	2
There Will be Blood	2008	Hi, Charles Foster	2
There's Something About Mary	1998	A crass comedy done right	3
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada	2006	Tommy Lee Jones masturbatory politicizing	2
Three Kings	1999	Well-made, overly preachy comedy with lots of war	3
The Time Machine	2002	Super silly and corny but it thinks it's serious	2
Tomb Raider	2001	Almost bearable ripoff actioner.	2
Tomcats	2001	A particularly inept attempt at gross-out comedy	1
Torque	2004	Dorque.	1
Touch of Evil	1958	Dirty, sleazy noir masterfully made by Orson Welles	4
The Tourist	2010	Who knew big old piles of turd could be so boring?	1
Toy Story 2	1999	A terrific movie for kids and adults. Treats everyone intelligently	4
Toy Story 3	2010	Everyone's getting a bit long in the tooth.	3
Traffic	2001	Good, occasionally obvious drug drama	3
Transsiberian	2008	Cold, boring, lame	2
The Triplets of Belleville	2004	Tiresome animation	2
Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story	2006	Fucking funny adaptation of an unfilmable novel	4
Tron: Legacy	2010	Fat fucking fanboys love their poop.	1
True Grit	2011	Faithful adaptation of a great book.	3
Tully	2003	Fair, sometimes corny and fake rural drama	3
Turistas	2006	Derivative, low-boobage horror crap	2
The Two Towers	2002	Eye-popping boredom	2
U-571	2000	A better-than-expected submarine war story	3
Unbreakable	2000	Silly comic book story treated like War and Peace	2
Undercover Brother	2002	Bad fucking mojo, man	1
Unfaithful	2002	Well made but empty morality tale	3
Up	2009	Good but not best Pixar.	4
Up in the Air	2009	Sometimes it's good to be alone.	3
Valentine	2001	Why would anyone make such a lame, cliched horror movie?	1
Van Helsing	2004	Bad, bad, really fucking bad	1
Vanilla Sky	2001	Hollywood tries to get profound, and fails	1
Vicky Cristina Barcelona	2001	Woody gets wood, and is funny again.	4
Waking Life	2001	A somewhat disappointing experiment with fabulous animation	3
Walk Hard	2008	Walk is the key word. Walk slow and sort of lame.	2
Wall-E	2008	Some brilliant riffing on the fat and lazy.	4
Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit	2005	It's sincerely good	4
Wall Street 2: You're Gonna Sleep	2010	Preachy, snoozy, belabored and no fun.	2
Waltz with Bashir	2009	A brilliant and humble exploration of memory.	4
War of the Worlds	2005	Well, at least it's loud	2
Watchmen	2009	Jimmy Critic loves it.	*
The Waterboy	1998	Not quite as funny as chopping off one of your own fingers	1
Welcome to Mooseport	2004	Coulda been good comedy if they made it funny.	2
Wedding Crashers	2005	If you want to pay $9 to see a flash of tits, go for it.	2
Wedding Date	2005	Perfectly bland for people with very weak hearts and not sex lives.	2
What Planet Are You From?	2000	Not great, but pretty funny for the first half	3
Where the Heart Is	2000	Hollywood pandering at its worst	1
Whipped	2000	Totally offensive, unfunny comedy about unlikable, mean, childish people	1
The Whole Nine Yards	2000	About as funny as its inexplicable Montreal setting	1
Wicker Park	2004	A loved poem to stalking as romantic pasttime.	1
Willard	2003	Fucking dreadful "hip" remake of a fucking dreadful horror movie	1
White Noise	2005	Worthless piece of horseshit horror nonsense	1
The Wrestler	2009	Good performances, corny plot.	3
X-Men	2000	Too many characters too little excitement	2
X-Men 2	2003	See above.	2
XXX	2002	The end of extreme sports popularity	1
Year One	2009	As limp and lame as a drunk man's dick.	1
You Can Count On Me	2001	A wonderfully funny and moving story about a fuck up brother. My sisters should see it.	4
You Don't Get Shit on by the Zohan	2008	Why don't you kill yourself first.	1
You Kill Me	2007	A load of cutesy horseshit.	1
You Me and Dupree	2006	So bad your bones will ache with sadness.	1
Your Friends and Neighbors	1999	Too many yuppies acting like assholes without being funny	2
Youth in Revolt	2010	Hipsters can't overcome triteness of coming of age.	2
You've Got Mail	1998	Warmed over horseshit that even the actors and director don't believe	1
Y Tu Mamá También	2002	The saddest teen road comedy with the most explicit sex. Something for everyone.	3
Zodiac	2007	Serial killers are creepy.	4
Zombieland	2009	Zombies inspire good flicks..	4
Zoolander	2001	Did you know male models are stupid? And so are the makers of this crap.	2

See who won the 2001 Filthies
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See who won the 1999 Filthies
See Who Won the 1998 Filthies