So you're headed to Vegas, and you want to come home with your suticase full of Christmas gifts . Wonderful gifts like free decks of cards, coffee mugs and slot card keychains. What six-year-old's eyes don't light up when he opens up a half-used coupon book? Here are the things you need to do:

Visit the visitor's centers in town and pick up all the free magazines (at the airport, in mediocre hotels' lobbies, at the rental car place). These are going to have coupons for free stuff like decks of cards, free hot dogs, free slot play and occasionally a free kidney from the local hospital.

Third, join the slot clubs wherever you go. When you sign up for them you often get a bungee slot club keychain, sometimes you get a gift, sometimes free slot play and you also get on their mailing lists for future room discounts or other offers. And whenever you sign up for a slot club, also ask if they have a funbook. That's a coupon book that may have more freebies or some free slot play or matchplays for the table games.

Okay, on to the free stuff:

Circus Circus - They usually have a good funbook offer. Check the American Casino Guide and the local freebie magazines for a coupon for the funbook. It's a good one that has had some decent matchplay and free slot play coupons.

Ellis Island - Well, it's a block off the Strip, but they give new slot signups a free deck of cards. They also give you a ton of slot club points, which are worthless unless you earn another ton. The deck of cards? Yours to keep. That's gifts for 52 orphans in every deck!

Harrah's - Well, it's not crap you can touch, but it's a free ride. Harrah's runs a free shuttle over to the Rio every twenty minutes or so, up until 1 a.m. It's a great way to get over there from the Strip, plus you never kbnow who'll you'll meet on the bus. Maybe us! You'll know you did if someone hits you up for your loose change.

Rio - During their free sky parade in the Masquerade Village area of the casino, the entertainers sometimes throw cheap plastic beads and coupons. Like all the other free crap these aren't worth much, but people fight for them as if they were the winning home run ball in game seven of the World Series.

Riviera - At the front of this aging monstrosity is an area where you can play "special" slot machines that give you forty credits for $20. And, if you don't win they let you choose a free gift from a collection of cheaply made articles. DON'T pay the $20, but, if you get in the line for it, you can sign up for the slot club and sometimes they have a promotion for a free coffee mug or deck of cards.

Slots-a-Fun - Next to Circus Circus, this small, crowded place usually offers something free like a hot dog, donuts for slot players in the morning, or a free gift like a deck of cards witha coupon found in the free magazines or the American Casino Guide (which also has a coupon for a free 1/2 pound hot dog and beer or soda).

Tropicana - Out in front, the Tropicana often hasa giant slot machine. We know what giant slot machines mean--giant winning! On this one you get to pull the handle for free, and there is a marginal chance that they'll give you something free - like tickets to see the afternoon magic show, or tickets to see Folies Bergere, their Vegas-style showgirl revue.

El Cortez - When you sign up for a slot club card, you get a free keychain with your own picture in it. Just go to the slot club booth next to the keno area, where they will take your picture. The keychain will be ready about a half-hour later, but you don't have to stick around, and it will be waiting whenever you want to claim it. They used to let you get as many as you wanted, but now you're limited to one keychain when you sign up for the club.

La Bayou and Mermaids - These two slots-only grind joints on the Fremont Street Experience are all dressed up like a swamp and an undersea prom theme. Out front, they hand out free beads to anyone who asks. Go for the beads, but then get away from their tight slots and gimmicks fast.

Plaza - If you give them your e-mail address at the slot booth, they'll give you a small gift. Don't think that great things come in small packages. in this case, small junk comes in a small package. But it's free!