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Here he is, our first two-time winner,
Adam Sandler. He won last year, and he wins again this
year. For those of you who enjoy Adam Sandler movies, just know
you're being had. You're paying to see a man who doesn't give
a rat's ass about you. This is a man who could be funnier, but
then he wouldn't appeal to the absolute lowest common denominator,
the people who go to the video store in sweatpants and flip-flops
and who are afraid the latest Richard Gere movie might be too
intellectual. If you like Adam Sandler, you're an idiot. Don't
argue the point, accept it. Accept that you are just like the
fucking retards at the cineplex who pick the movie they'll see
by the showtimes because they'd rather see shit than wait an
extra fifteen minutes.
Adam Sandler movies are not clever, they
are not original, they all seem to lack any energy because Sandler
sucks it off the screen in his "too-cool" posturing.
The best thing of all is that Adam is setting himself up for
the fall. Rather than make a great comedy, he is now trying to
make sappier comedies with even broader appeal so he can make
even more money. Not better movies, just cornier ones.
Ask yourself this before seeing any Adam
Sandler movie: Would he take $5 million to make a great script
or $20 million to make a shitty one? I know the answer, and I
won't reward that asshole for being so greedy.
Return to the
Ceremony.
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