Randy ShandisHello, I'm Randy Shandis, owner of Big Empire Industries.

It's the dawning of a new era, and as we do every 1000 years here at the Big Empire, we have compiled the Top Ten Lists of the Millennium.

I know what you're thinking: everyone creates pointless lists at the end of the year. Every crappy web site and magazine compiles lists that mean nothing but seem important because the stuff is numbered. Well, that's not what we did.

What we did was assemble the greatest panel of "thinkers" this world has ever known. This panel includes the newsmakers, newsreporters and news editors that have had their finger on the pulsing jugular vein of the planet. To insure fairness across the span of 1000 years, our panel included intellectuals from all over the globe and from every century. Many were dead.

The experts created lists with social impact. This is clearly the sort of work Alfred Nobel (who, coincidentally, is on the panel) had hoped to inspire when he created his awards. These are lists you'll feel smarter for knowing, and quoting in term papers or business reports. These are lists that we are proud of, yet we take no responsibility for their accuracy or for any ommissions.

We hope you do not enjoy them. Rather, we hope you grow from having read them.

10. The 10 Worst Odors of this Millennium
10. (tie) The 10 worst Celebrity Hairdos of this Millennium
9. The 10 Best Prime Numbers of this Millennium
8. The 10 Best Sandwiches from Subway of this Millennium
7. The 25 Best Artificial Flavors of this Millennium
6. The 25 Longest-Lived Fads of this Millennium
5. The 25 Best Aphorisms of this Millennium
4. The 25 Biggest Threats to the New Millennium
3. The 25 Best Religions of All Time
2. The 25 Best Nicknames of All Time

And the Number One List of the Millennium is...
1. The 100 Most Despicable People of All Time

 

Big Empire

Post-it Theater

Las Vegas

The Gift ElectroniquÈ

Big Empire Buddies

Filthy Critic

Mrs. Filthy

Sake Drenched Postcards

Gooden Worsted

 


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©1999 by Randy Shandis Enterprises. Questions or Comments?