Hello, I'm Randy Shandis, owner of Big Empire Industries.
It's the dawning of a new era, and as we
do every 1000 years here at the Big Empire, we have compiled
the Top Ten Lists of the Millennium.
I know what you're thinking: everyone creates
pointless lists at the end of the year. Every crappy web site
and magazine compiles lists that mean nothing but seem important
because the stuff is numbered. Well, that's not what we did.
What we did was assemble the greatest panel
of "thinkers" this world has ever known. This panel
includes the newsmakers, newsreporters and news editors that
have had their finger on the pulsing jugular vein of the planet.
To insure fairness across the span of 1000 years, our panel included
intellectuals from all over the globe and from every century.
Many were dead.
The experts created lists with social impact.
This is clearly the sort of work Alfred Nobel (who, coincidentally,
is on the panel) had hoped to inspire when he created his awards.
These are lists you'll feel smarter for knowing, and quoting
in term papers or business reports. These are lists that we are
proud of, yet we take no responsibility for their accuracy or
for any ommissions.
We hope you do not enjoy them. Rather,
we hope you grow from having read them.
10. The 10 Worst
Odors of this Millennium
10. (tie) The 10 worst Celebrity Hairdos
of this Millennium
9. The 10 Best Prime Numbers of this Millennium
8. The 10 Best Sandwiches from Subway of
this Millennium
7. The 25 Best Artificial Flavors of this
Millennium
6. The 25 Longest-Lived Fads of this Millennium
5. The 25 Best Aphorisms of this Millennium
4. The 25 Biggest Threats to the New Millennium
3. The 25 Best Religions of All Time
2. The 25 Best Nicknames of All Time
And the Number One List of the Millennium
is...
1. The 100 Most Despicable People of
All Time
©1999 by Randy
Shandis Enterprises. Questions
or Comments?
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