by Matt

Recently, I started wondering what happened to the art of just plain talking. What happened to the beauty and mystitque of dialogue? I pointed this question threateningly at a former friend and he suggested I go where all the high-brow, artsy-fartsy types are these days, cyberspace.

Having no fear of technology, I jumped on the information superhighway and gunned the engine for a destination called "chat rooms". A chat room is a place where, apparently, several "people" can all type messages and everyone else in the "room" can read them and then "respond". I'm a bit nebulous and skeptical about all of this for several reasons. One good one is, where are these rooms? How much space do they take up and on whose property do they reside? Another question is, how do I know that it is really people that are responding and not just my computer playing another practical joke on me?

As educated, civic-minded individuals, I know that you share my concerns. So, I forayed into "Cyberspace" and visited my technologically inclined brethren. What I found was a delightful world of clever, droll dialogue,with shockingly bad grammar and spelling. I now pass on to you, in the good name of education, my experiences. May you learn from my adventure.

TWENTYSOMETHINGS was the first "chat" group I visited. I thought "Neat, people my age to discuss issues concerning our generation, and Pearl Jam." We join the conversation, with PAJASAURUS, Clark2b, and Lesa1028 already in progress (I am, by the way, Biggerknee):

PAJASAURUS: Where did you get your name?

Clark2b: Mine is rather simplistic considering everyone knows who Marcia Clark is

Biggerknee: Good, 20somethings. People my age. Let's talk about "Friends."

Lesa1028: Paja I like, much more creative than mine.

Biggerknee: I really enjoy rock and roll. How about you guys? I like to dance.

Clark2b: Rock and roll is here to stay, it will never die (sorry just burst into song)

Biggerknee: Wow. Clark2b, you will be a lawyer? Very enterprising. I am a mechanic.

Clark2b: Mechanic?? Auto?? Airplanes??

Biggerknee: I am a marine engine mechanic working mostly on large Volvo diesels.

PAJASAURUS: what is the 1028 in your name, Lesa?

Lesa1028: I have no idea; just sounded like a sexy computer name "Lesa 1028"

PAJASAURUS: well, it works.

Clark2b: lol lesa ( that means laughing out loud in case you didn't know)

Biggerknee: I was rofl at Lesa. That means rolling on the floor laughing.

Lesa1028: ha - ha, BK. Sounds like something i'd be interested in.

Biggerknee: Somebody ask me about my name, please.

Clark2b: Ok, Biggerknee, I'll bite.

Biggerknee: Okay, my name is because I have one knee that is bigger than the other and they drain its pus once a month.


Clark2b: That's so gross!!!! and sounds painful!!

Skunky5651: hi, everyone! :-)


Clark2b: Hey, Skunky, join the party.

Biggerknee: Skunky!! You made it!

PAJASAURUS: While we're on the subject of names...

Clark2b: y's ur name Skunky???

Skunky5651: Cause I have a big grey streak in my hair

Biggerknee: Skunky, I bet you smell BAAADDDD!!

Skunky5651: I smell fine.

Biggerknee: No, I bet it is because you smell!!!

Clark2b: Don't we all even at twenty something??

Skunky5651: No, actually, I don't smell.

Clark2b: I'm referring to the grey hair thing.

PAJASAURUS: I found one today, I was depressed.

Biggerknee: Are there any teenagers pretending to be 20. Fess up now.

Lesa1028: ROFL!!! LOL

Clark2b: Not here. Regression would be nice but not possible.

PAJASAURUS: Nope, not me. I created this room

Lesa1028: See, I'm learning already. Blondes can be taught.

Biggerknee: Admit it, Skunky. We all smell a little. That's why we are online.

Skunky5651: I DONT SMELL! No one I know is greying as of yet.

Biggerknee: Well, you know what they say about farts: He who smelt it dealt it.

Skunky5651: Word. I wasn't the one who said anything about smell ... you were.

Biggerknee: Skunky, Skunky, Skunky.

Skunky5651: Biggerknee, Biggerknee, Biggerknee.

Biggerknee: My lower abdomen has this nasty rash from hoisting Volvo 5611 diesels
and that is why I am afraid to go outdoors and meet people.

Clark2b: *blah*

Clark2b: If you wear a shirt who'll see the rash

Biggerknee: Nobody will see the rash, but I know it's there.

Lesa1028: Biggerknee, are you really a MARINE?

Clark2b: a Jarhead???

Lesa1028: They are sooo strong. Can you lift that engine with your bare biceps?

Biggerknee: No, I am not a marine. I lift the engines with a hoist, but I am allergic to the hoist grease.

Lesa1028: Sorry, I didn't know it was a sensitive area.

Biggerknee: No, my lower abdomen was the sensitive area we were discussing.

Clark2b: Skunky, ur awfully quiet.

Biggerknee: Yeah, Skunky, are you mad because I caught you on the odor thing?

Skunky5651: There IS no odor thing ... get over it.

Biggerknee: Although, Skunky is very sensitive about odor. People in their 20's tend to smell more, I think.

Go on to
Nice People Chat || Congo: the movie Chat
Financial Advice Chat || Watercooler Jokes Chat
Instant Message || EXTRA Chat

 Gift Home

Issue #1 Home 
©1998 by Randy Shandis Enterprises Questions and Comments?

 Big Empire Home