NBC.com- While Al "the Foz" Fozano was dumping former celebrity Ricky "Rick" Schroader from his ticket, the Shandis Campaign was adding its own star power. Randy Shandis beamed with pride when he was surrounded by the cast of 80s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" at a campaign stop at the official web site.
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Former drug addicts and B actors unite to support the Shandis Campaign. |
"I don't care what people say about biological parents, when times got tough, I imagined this was my family. Mr. Drummond was my dad, Willis was my brother, so was Arnold. And Mrs. Garrett and Dana Plato served up some hot three-way action."
Mr. Drummond told reporters that he was excited not only to support Shandis's pro-pornography stance, but also to use this opportunity to let people know, including loved ones, that he is still alive.
Shandis said the campaign would also serve as an official reunion of the cast. "Most reunions are pretty sad affairs after a cast member dies," Shandis told reporters, "because the story centers around the dead. We will avoid that problem by pretending Dana is still with us." To that end, Shandis presented Ms. Plato's decaying body to the press and wiggled its jaw while a tape of the actress, circa "Diff'rent Strokes," played over loudspeakers.
"Spooky, huh?"
Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman have both accepted positions with the Shandis campaign and were able to find time in their schedules to travel in Shandis's campaign bus, "The Straight Sex Express." Shandis said he recognized that the two young men had fallen on hard times.
"The Shandis Campaign is all about giving people a second chance. Both Coleman and Bridges are fine young actors and I want to show the world they deserve their respect." Shandis said that no final decision has been made as to what the men will do, but he said it would be "something like washing the bus, and wrestling in mud. Who wouldn't pay to see these guys go at it?"
Before ending the press conference, Shandis announced his new campaign slogan would be "Whatchoo Talking 'Bout Fozano?" implying that Fozano is "talking out his ass." Shandis then beamed, pinched Mr. Coleman's cheek and said, "He's as cute as ever!"
