platform.com- Al "Foz" Fozano announced this week that he has finally developed his campaign platform and will reveal it to a hungry public soon.
"Up until now," said Fozano, "I have been running on charm and good looks. I have had no beliefs or reasons to run for Internet Mayor. I just wanted people to like me. Now, with the help of several aides and a cooperative class of kindergartners, I have a platform written in very pretty colors. But, I'm not going to reveal it yet."
Reporters asked Fozano why he would not reveal his platform, to which Fozano answered, "What if you don't like it? Promise you'll like it first."
The Shandis Campaign is outraged that Fozano has taken so long to develop a platform. Shandis aide, Lushy Larue said, "It's outrageous that a man can run for the most important office in the world without having a reason to run. It's even more amazing that he captured 47% of the vote without a platform. Hell, Shandis should have run against a slab of concrete."
Shandis aides said they don't believe Fozano's platform will boost his popularity, and in fact it could hurt him. "What if he comes out in favor of clubbing baby seals, or the death penalty for innocent bystanders? You never know, that Fozano's a nut."
Shandis himself is upset and accused Fozano of hoarding good ideas. "If Fozano has any good ideas or thoughts on how to make the Internet a better place, he should share them with the people and me. If he has some really good ideas, I will add them to my platform. Well, I might put a twist on them, like whatever he says, plus one dollar in cash for every person. But still, he is only hurting the public by keeping his ideas secret."
Fozano vowed that he would reveal his platform soon and that he hopes everyone likes it, especially the part about the talking horse that befriends a young girl.
