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Orgasmo Gooden's Bytable Bytes: |
My apologies, dear readers. Your friend Gooden has been quite out of sorts lately, my life having taken a most unusual turn. Videos just didn't keep their usual place in my life during this time of learning. Let me just say that one should never be without arnica gel. And furniture casters. Those things can be extremely useful!
Needless to say, I was thrilled to finally return to Family Fun Video and pick out Orgasmo, starring Trey Parker. As you may have noticed, I've been on quite the South Park kick lately, exploring all the streams that have sprung from the creative team of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. When I saw this film on the shelf, it went straight to the top of my list, natch.
And boy was I glad it did! Orgasmo is a rip-snorting hoot and a holler to boot. It's the tale of Joe Young, a kung-fu fighting Mormon missionary whom fortune throws into the lucrative but un-Christian profession of pornographic film-making. Give yourself over to this far-fetched concept. It helps if you're convalescing from an illness or difficult period in your life (don't forget those casters!) because the only way to enjoy this movie is to put your doubting mind on the shelf--for these tall-tale tellers are hardly finished.
Orgasmo is a superhero who can cause his enemies to spontaneously climax sexually. That's not much stranger than a lot of porno films. Why, I remember one in which a magical Xerox machine caused photocopies of horny centerfolds to come to life! Orgasmo's porno-flick sidekick, Choda-Boy, is played by Ben, a man with a set of science Ph.D.'s and the mind of Albert Einstein. (He acts in pornos because he likes the sex, but his fortune comes from several patents in his name. Just go with it.) Ben has, in his spare time, invented an actual Orgasmo ray that, in fact, works. Now keep up and don't dilly dally--the plot is just about to go wild!
First, Orgasmo becomes a box office smash (it would be the first ever to do so since Deep Throat way back in the early 70s). Second, after trying the ray out on people around town, Orgasmo and Choda-Boy stumble into the most convenient little sub-plot. They discover that their director isn't just a sleaze, but he's also a mob boss with extensive political ties. By now, this should be easy to believe, right along with the rap-talkin' sushi chef, friend to Joe and Ben, who keeps getting roughed up by the mob goons. Orgasmo and Choda-Boy to the rescue! But even if they do win this battle, what will Joe do now that his naïve fiancée has arrived in town--and found out what some Mormons will do for money?
Orgasmo is like your best early-adolescent day-dreams. I used to fantasize
that I'd somehow made it to a planet populated exclusively by Raquel Welch's.
Watching this film gives me a similar feeling. If you would like to try
this movie, pretend you're tuning out a droning match teacher as you watch.
You'll also find several helpful hand-holds along the way that keep your
attention no matter what your credulity happens to be doing at the time.
One is the character Dave, played by Matt Stone who I found
entertaining because his joke was so over-repeated and so telegraphed that
it passed the point of stupid and became funny again. South Park style?
You bet! Two was seeing Ron Jeremy not naked, but homely as anyone ever
was; not acting, but cameo-ing his heart out. Three was. . . Well, I can't
think of a third point of interest, but it's late anyway, so enough is enough.
I can whole-heartedly recommend that you possibly consider watching Orgasmo
if you are into and in the mood for Stone-and-Parker type humor.
Want to share a happy story with Gooden?
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