Randy Shandis
Owner and Publisher, The Gift Electronique
You're all a bunch of Goddamn freeloaders, you know that? I didn't put
up a fucking website so you could all just skim off the top. It's important
for you to understand this because I am sick of you sucking on the teat
of my seeming generosity.
Okay, let me take a few deep breaths.
I came down to the very nice office suites that are being leased by The
Gift Electronique, to see how I was investing my capital. Mostly
I wanted to see exactly how much money I was making off this website. Here's
the total: zero dollars, zero cents. You cheap-ass bastards haven't even
spent a single penny.
And here is how much I have spent to date on this little, shall we say "non-profit
organization". $32,743. If you are reading this and don't plan
on spending any money, you can suck my dick.
So where did it go? Over $8,000 in rent for 2700 square feet for
two months, an honorarium to Robert Moore for his contributions, salaries
to four writers, two computer technicians, one secretary, and - here's the
one that really makes me want to slice off some ball-sacks - over $2,000
for a physical trainer.
As a reader, it's none of your business to know who gets paid the most,
but let me just say this: when the axe falls it'll fall hardest on that
Phil guy. From now on I'm going to be involved in the hiring process.
I should mention that unless you, the tight-assed reading public, don't
get your wallets out this website is going the way of Nixon. I want to see
some cash. I still don't fully understand how money is made through the
web, but you geeks must. So, whatever it is you do, start doing it here.
Is that clear?
And if you don't, I'm going to find out who you are and burn down all your
pets.
Sincerely,
Randy Shandis
Owner and Publisher, The Gift Electronique
