As the World's Only Web Site, The Big Empire is morally obligated
to push the limits of the technologies that we have invented.
We are thrilled that you made the effort to meet us here in cyberspace,
and now we invite you to push even further into the virgin territory
of the future.
The Big Empire Buddies is the World's Only Internet-based
Free Newsletter. Every two weeks (26 times a year) you
will receive a small but hilarious newsletter in your virtual
mailbox. Each issue will feature the following:
- An exclusive feature story by one of the World's Only Celebrities,
including Randy Shandis, Matt, Stinky, The Filthy Critic, Mrs.
Filthy, Captain Japan, Gooden Worsted and Lucky Ned.
- An inside peek at how the World's Only Web Site works.
- Updates of what's new in the Big Empire that will save you
from spending hours scanning the site.
- Fashion tips.
- How to unsubscribe.
- And more that we haven't figured out yet, but will surely
be pretty bitchin'!
To become a Big Empire Buddy, all you need to do is click
on the button below and sign up your address. The list is run
by Onelist.com and neither us or them will ever, ever sell your
address to anyone. Those Onelist people do put an ad at the bottom
of eachnewsletter, though. Please be aware, the newsletter
is not just about Las Vegas. It covers many topics and its intent
is humor, not information.
Frequently
Asked Questions About The Big Empire Buddies!
Why are you doing this?
Because we need constant reassurance that we are loved and needed
in this world. You are our only hope.
How does it work?
Well, without getting very technical, let's just say that we
have created a huge fiber-optic network through which data, such
as e-mail, can travel. If you are reading this, the odds are
very good that someone has arranged for you to be connected to
our "Internet."
Did you really invent the Internet?
Yes.
I'm a successful businessperson, why should I join the
Big Empire Buddies?
Because it is a lot like the Rotarians or the Kiwanis. There
will be a myriad of fantastic opportunities to hobnob with others
of your kind.
What about your frequent flier program?
Although our attempts to get free airfare and frequent flier
miles for Big Empire Buddies have been unsuccessful to date,
we believe that several major airlines are beginning to soften
and we will continue to harass them on your behalf.
Gee, I'm not so sure about this...
Oh, come on. all the cool people already joined. And that person
you are attracted to has been asking about you.
Will I be able to unsubscribe any time I want?
Yes! Any time you want. That is provided you are not the only
member. If you are, our loneliness will compel us to keep contacting
you.
What the hell? I'll do it!
Thatta boy or girl!
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